Plainly put, I took a lot of crap from people when I was younger. Recent events in my life have made me take stock of how far I’ve come in being able to stand up for myself.
Having been an introvert (which I still somewhat am) when I was younger, I was shy and would rather not get involved in heated discussions and debates because this would obviously mean drawing attention to myself. This in turn had an effect on my assertiveness as I was always worried about what people thought of me, were saying about me, being accepted among my peers and just in general too preoccupied with other people instead of focussing on myself. I had a hard time expressing myself, even just saying no when I really did not feel like committing to something. So I would rather just say yes to avoid any explanations and confrontations. My younger days were tough, I struggled to “find” myself and portray the true me. Instead I walked around with a lot of bottled-up anger as a result of not being able to be me.
But what’s that they say about becoming older and wiser?
As I gradually eased into adulthood, I wondered why the hell I took all that crap when I was younger. I mean what’s the worst that could’ve happened by simply being myself. Really now. The people who didn’t like it, were not for me anyway and ones who would’ve liked it, were the people I should’ve been associating myself with. But that’s the beauty of growing up, you realise just what you’re prepared to tolerate and what simply will not fly.
Yes, I am still a “somewhat introvert”- I love my privacy, am not a chatterbox and stick to a very small group of friends BUT I DO NOT TAKE ANY CRAP ANYMORE! I’ve realised that life is way too short not to say what you really feel. I don’t waste my time on people who don’t deserve my time or even just having a meaningless conversation with someone who clearly only sees his or her way as the right way. In fact, I find myself welcoming challenges these days, just to strengthen myself even more and to prove to myself that I CAN handle anything that comes my way.
I am way more comfortable with myself these days. So it seems that something good does come from those awkward teenage years after all :-)
xxx GVR6 xxx
I sometimes wonder why did it take me so long to get here? I agree that only with growing older you really learn who you are, who you want to be in future and where exactly it is you want your lifes journey to take you. Growing older has also taught me to be a little bit more patient with my teen daughter. If I think of all my teenage struggles and I see how she is going through the same things now it makes me wonder why we dont talk about these things more often. Great post Gaynor!
Thank you Rashieda. That’s exactly why I write these kinds of posts because if I knew then what I know now then I wouldn’t have wasted so much time worrying about crap! You live and you learn hey!